Coming to Terms with Titus' Diagnosis

Coming to terms with Titus’ diagnosis

    There are so many stages and feelings on coming to terms with Titus being on the spectrum. I have realized one of the reasons his diagnosis has become hard to swallow is that you kind of want your family to be this little perfect family. You want to do all the fun things. You want uncomplicated road trips and fun crazy outings. Nathan is very spontaneous and I am a huge extrovert and people person. Put those together and we love to go out and do fun things and be around people. You want life to be and feel normal or “ordinary.” You want people to love️you(yes, prideful!)and love your kids. However, God has changed my heart in realizing my sin in some of those thoughts. Surprise! I am prideful! 

    There have been multiple situations in the past year that has awakened realty for Nathan and me. At first the knowledge of his diagnosis didn’t change much for us. In most areas Titus can be pretty chill and content doing the things he loves. He is very happy all the time! He is such a. Sweetheart. However, just this past year Titus started going through some fears and that have caused him to have meltdowns. This is completely normal for kids on the spectrum, but very new for us as parents. We have found ourselves on the grass in the middle of a golf course because we didn’t realize Titus was terrified of golf carts. Only for our “big family fun outing” to be changed to one of us goes home and the other stays. Then another time we took Titus to a hotel pool because he has always LOVED swimming only to have a complete meltdown, screaming and running away. Once again our spontaneous family time outing to be set back to co-parenting and splitting up to take turns back in the hotel room. In those moments it’s hard not to notice the people’s puzzled looks and staring. My thoughts wonder to what people are thinking “What in the world is that kid doing?” “Are those parents traumatizing that kid?” “Someone need a spanking!” These moments are what has helped defined me as a parent. Do I worry more about how I am viewed as a parent than how Titus is feeling in that moment? Am I willing to give up my comforts and my ideas of what our family should look like?  

    Let’s be real. Our lives are far from perfect and I had to change my mindset from caring what people think, to embracing the Extraordinary part of our life. I have had to get used to saying “I am sorry, my child doesn’t understand. He is on the autism spectrum,” and accepting the fact that people might not understand. 

    The beautiful part about coming to terms with his diagnosis is that it gives us a freedom to know that Titus is EXACTLY who God wanted Him to be. He is so precious and “lovey” and funny. No family is perfect and how we tackle our daily life is just different than others.  God did not make a mistake in how He created Titus or his diagnosis. We are not on this earth to please people or to live up to other people’s expectations of who we should be or how Titus should act. We love Titus to the ends of this earth. We love every part of him. We have family who love him and who he is, we love his personality and dare I say, we love his autism? That is who he is. He is extraordinary. He is funny. He is so sweet. He loves life and we love Him for who he is and who God creates him to be. Extraordinary! 

 

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127:3-5‬ ‭