Look to Jesus


Look to Jesus


    The neat part about journaling and writing about our extraordinary life has been the moments God has truly spoke to me and revealed himself to me. Often times he shows me who HE IS through my weaknesses. 

    There are times where I truly believe Titus' Diagnosis wasn't to change who Titus is, but for God to use it to change who I am. To refine me to be more like Christ. 



    Today, Nathan was on his lunch break and decided to put the boys into the bathtub after their muddy adventures outside. I was laying Esme down for her nap and once again I was hearing chaos coming from the bathroom. Sterling is our emotional one. He was pretty upset about coming inside and was throwing a massive tantrum in the bathtub. Titus on the other hand has a specific fear right now about pouring bath water. Once the water is turned off he is fine. But it slipped Nate’s mind as Titus followed him upstairs to the bath. 


    A complete meltdown ensued for Titus and add Sterling’s tantrum and we had a recipe for disaster. 


    Typically I am in the middle of these scenarios but today I was the one on the outside listening. (Poor Nathan! Haha!) 


    Honestly all I could think about at that point was that our life this past week with kids has seemed pretty chaotic. We had a similar situation happen this past Sunday. Esme hates her car seat and screams 24/7. Sterling is very emotional and was throwing a tantrum and Titus is struggling in his patience when we are out and about. He tends to repeat words he wants over and over again. 


    So after the boys were out of the bath and calm, I was cleaning the bathroom during my few minutes of alone time. I just kept asking myself how in the world do we parent these three very different children. How do I bring them up in a way that teaches them to love Jesus. How do I break through the tantrums and the meltdowns and the crying. (Yes we do incorporate certain levels of discipline) How to I keep myself from LOSING it all the time? 


    I thought once again, “God what are you trying to teach me? Because whatever it is, I feel like I am failing.” 


    I let these situations get the best of me. Even though I might be responding calming on the outside, I easily catch myself allowing my sin nature to respond on the inside. 


    God reminded me that I can not do this alone. I can’t have patience, kindness, gentleness, and self control on my own. We can’t discipline our kids and teach them the fruits of the spirit on our own. We can't parent on our own. 


    I HAVE to rely on Christ who knows my struggles, loves me, and wants to give me victory through Him. 


    It is so exhausting trying to do it on your own. You can’t. You NEED Jesus. He is the author and perfecter of our faith. 



“looking unto Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:2-3‬ 



    I have days where I am weary and discouraged in my parenting journey. 



    Today I was reminded to get on my knees and look to Jesus. 









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